Oh, shalom, didn’t see you come in.

Alright so I’ve been thinking about how to format this post for almost the entirety of my four weeks in Israel, and I realized since when the shit do I care about formatting. So here’s the deal, from May 11 to June 9th, I hung out in Israel and ate. The first ten days was an organized free tour for Jewish 18-26 year olds. Right off the bat I’m gonna say that every single one of my expectations for this part of the trip was hyper-exceeded. Since the organized portion is essentially free, you are allowed to extend your stay in Israel, as long as you pay your own way since your plane ticket is already paid for. The last 20-something days I spent with a friend of mine at her grandmother’s house, which has a fucking rooftop terrace and a swing. Yeah.

Now that you have that amazing introduction, here are things I learned/observed/ate while kickin’ it in the holy land:

1. Israel is fucking unbelievably gorgeous. No wonder everyone’s freaking out trying to get a piece.

2. I am a judgmental bitch and I need to stop. People aren’t all the worst; I make them the worst. Before embarking on this trip, I knew I would be going with a high school friend of mine, and I figured we would just stick together the whole time and not interact with anyone else. Basically, we were using this as a free excuse to get to Israel and then do whatever we wanted. However, I came out of those ten days with 55 new friends and a week-long post-trip depression (note: but everything was still awesome and I got over it) (note: but I still miss everyone) (note: let’s all hang out).

2a. There are so many people worth knowing in the world and you need to find them and talk to them and learn from them and love them.

3. Travel is weird. I knew that my time was up in Israel on the day of my flight; I wasn’t particularly sad to leave, I was more sad that my trip was over… I think. This feeling is still somewhat difficult to pinpoint for me. And what’s worse is that I know I can’t avoid this sadness (for lack of a better word). Even if I stayed there for two months or a year or whatever, I would feel the exact same way upon leaving. Staying longer wouldn’t prevent the sadness of an end of a journey - but you need it. If you’re not at least a little bit sad to leave, you did something wrong.

4. In my opinion, the best part any journey is the traveling: the getting there, the wandering around, exploring… but the best part of travelling is still coming home and realizing how amazing your life is. When you come to terms with the end of your trip, and how amazing it has been, you can really appreciate how great your life back home is, and how great your experiences have been. It’s a pretty special thing when you can say that you’re simultaneously content with the past, present and future.

5. Everyone in Israel yells. Even when they whisper. Also, don’t whisper, you’ll get yelled at. If you’re at a restaurant and you don’t sound like six jet engines, just leave.

6. If you’re Canadian, everyone will think you’re American.

7. Israeli men shamelessly/loudly check out anything with breasts and a face. Honestly, the face probably isn’t important, I just didn’t see anyone with breasts but no face.

8. FALAFEL.

9. SHAWARMA. WITH FRIES. IN THE PITA.

10. Most of the locals I met are helpful, but assertive, with whatever they are doing but it is often misconstrued as pushiness. This usually puts off some North Americans (read: probably just me), considering where I come from, if anyone pushes in line at a McDonalds, no one will say anything, everyone in line will just exchange irritated glances and suffer in silence, secretly wishing they had done the same thing.

11. Israel is a country that is amazingly rich in history and culture. It is not, however, some kind of third-world warzone. But that is not to say that its political issues do not affect the lives of its citizens. The violence concerning the borders and who’s land is who’s is something that is very prevalent in the lives of those living in Israel. But most importantly: These issues are more complicated than any of us living anywhere outside the Middle East can even begin to understand. Most of the information we get is filtered god knows how many times before it even gets to our televisions and newspapers, and is sometimes reported to us by people who cannot tell the difference between Tina Fey and Sarah Palin.

12. OH OKAY ALSO, ISRAEL HAS THE MOST AMAZING FUCKING COTTAGE CHEESE.

Okay I’m done now. I missed all of you and blogging and tumblr and stupid memes. But I’m back bitches, for the rest of this glorious Montreal summer.